She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize