I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
