Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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