We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
