I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize