Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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