FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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