I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
