I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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