so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
