wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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