eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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