Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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