I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
