1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
