If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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