she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize