Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
nut hugger
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
They are going to name an STD after you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
