jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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