Can i not drive my cunt home
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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