I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
