Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize