YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
