Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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