go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
