Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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