Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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