the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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