Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
