Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
