i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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