Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
