Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
