saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
