She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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