I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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