i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
