How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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