Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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