what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
