in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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