so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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