i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
