We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
