If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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