hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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