Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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