Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I die, sorry about rent.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
