Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
