Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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