whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
