I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
