I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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