He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
