Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
