he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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