we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
