You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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