Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
