i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
